Self loathing and depression behind closed doors
I guess I just want to start something that will distract me so that I can stop self loathing i.e. walking around mess, watching dishes go moldy, eating my face off, crying on the lounge and drinking too much on the weekends. I miss my kids so much it tears my heart out. The worst part is I don’t know how their day was today and I didn’t tuck them into bed. It’s been over a year since my husband left me and the pain is still there, it’s almost worse because I feel like I should have my shit together by now. I go on tinder dates and I’m pretty sure after the 5th one I’m just using them for attention and sex, then I lose all interest. Hmmm sounds like an emotionally fucked up person to me. I hide my sadness from everyone until I feel desperately alone and even then they can’t help me. I can’t even get closure from my ex as he’s dropped me like a sack of shit after 11 years together. God help me! I need to get a life!